"Turn your eyes upon Jesus......

Look full in His wonderful face....

& the things of earth will grow stragely dim...

in the light of His glory & grace."

Perspective

Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory & grace.

We scream for ice cream

*A welcomed treat to brighten the day!

UPDATE on Mikayla's Cyst

So I talk with a Dr yesterday and with her Naturopath today and got some news. We know now that it is an "Arachnoid Cyst" about the size of a ping pong ball. It is located in her frontal left lobe and it is between her skull and brain. THIS IS GREAT NEWS EVERYONE! As the nurse put it "This is the best of the worst." While it isn't ideal to have anything lodging in her brain we are seriously counting our blessings right now!

Thank you Jesus it ISNT a tumor!

Thank you Jesus we found it before it caused major damage!

Thank you Jesus it is located in an easy to reach spot!

Thank you Jesus for the naturopath that initiated this whole process!

Thank you Jesus for guiding us through this trial and never leaving our side!

I could go on and on......really.

*SO...here is the plan so far. Right now we have been informed it takes about 3 business days for the Neurosurgeon at OHSU to get the referral info from Providence. Once they get it he will look over it and we will get together and make a plan for them to remove the cyst. Yes she will most likely be having brain surgery soon but as of right now we think it should go easily because of the location of the cyst and the fact that it is on the outside of her brain.

We are SO very grateful for all of you who are faithfully praying for Mikayla and us....we can really feel those prayers. We are surrounded by some of the most caring and encouraging people! YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING!

Resting in Jesus' perfect peace,
Jessica

"My peace I give to you..."

Today changed my life...and not just my life. I woke up this morning at 6am like every morning. Made my coffee then snuggled back into bed with my Bible ready to hear what God had to say. A couple days ago He led me to read the book of John and has faithfully spoken to me every morning, washing me with His precious Words. Today I read John ch 11-16 and journaled about Judas Iscariot and how I never noticed Jesus implied Judas wasn't "chosen." Then I poured out my heart before the Lord about all that was troubling me, mainly submitting my fears to Him and recognizing that Kealani belongs to Him and not me (which He has been reminding me of the past few days.)

At 7am I woke up all my children feeling ready for the day. I told Jesus His will be done and I was confident His will would be done and it would be beneficial to me in some way or another. Got everyone ready for school, dropped Kealani off at school, took Caitlin to my dear friend Kristy's house, and arrive just in time for Mikayla's appt. with her Naturopath to discuss the results from her CT Scan she had on Tuesday.

Sitting in the Dr's office she began asking questions about how Mikayla's headaches were and more detail about them, then asking more Q's about other things and I began to get antsy so I just blurted out "What did the CT say?" She shifted in on her stool (never a good sign) and said rather quickly "Well they did find a mass in her frontal left lobe which they think is a cyst and you need to go have an MRI done right away." She said it so "tra la la la" that I had to have her repeat it!

BOOM! Just like that, my life changed, but not only my life. My dear sweet Lou who just turned 5 years old exactly 1 week ago has a mass in her brain that isn't supposed to be there. I looked into those beautiful little eyes and fought back tears with all my might. But you know, I KNEW there was something wrong. The moment I stepped into the imaging center Tuesday morning I KNEW something wasn't right and my stomach was in knots all day. God had already started preparing me for bad news. Not that it made it any easier mind you.

The doc left the room to schedule the MRI and I began texting immediate family with the news. The Dr came back and told us our appt was at noon and I thanked her and rushed out as quickly as possible as if it could erase the news she just gave me. Mikayla meanwhile, has no idea really what is going on and was too busy blowing tissues around the room to have listened to the news. I was in awe of her really....I mean she has so much faith that her life will be fine. She goes about her day trusting that she will be provided for and that if something goes wrong her parents or God will make it right again. "Why can't I be like that?" I thought to myself and desperately wished I had been too busy blowing tissues around the room to know what was wrong.

I buckled us both in and started the car and did what any mom would do, I worried. I worried I might not get to watch my daughter grow old or that she might have cancer, or that this was the beginning of a VERY difficult process for BOTH of us.

Then I heard His voice, "She is not yours."

Ohhhh man, "I know" I wispered pathetically.

and again...."She is not yours, she belongs to Me."

"yeah.....I know...I just....."

"NO, you have NO control over her life."

then came tears.......and conviction. He was right, I have absolutely no control. Yet, I was trying to be in control none the less. Just like I was trying to be in control of Kealani's life and He revealed in a major way to me. Just like I have no control of Caitlin and her behavior.

"They are not yours, they are Mine, I created them, and I am control of their lives."

I spent the next hour before the MRI pondering His revelation and repenting of my sin of trying to always be in control. Never before have I had God work on so many areas of my life in such a short amount of time and I think really its because I am finally surrendering all these areas of my life so that He can freely work. It hurts......it hurts really bad.

We arrived for her appt and I talked her all up excited to get "pictures of her brain" and how cool it was but warning her about how LOUD it was too because poor Lou is super sensitive to loud noise. The nurse and radiologist got her all settled and cozied up a chair next to the machine for me and I held her ankle as she went in and I didn't let go the entire 40 minutes. At first I began to worry then I surrendered in prayer. His voice soothed my soul and I heard it even louder than the MRI machine next to my head. He said "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid." Then it occurred to me that I read this only this morning and pondered it only for a moment before continuing on through the book of John. The Spirit had stored it away for me this morning for just this moment. I was beyond humbled, I did not deserve anything from Him and yet He came and spoke over me with gentleness in a moment of greatest need. His peace did come over me and I prayed through the entire process. When we left the nurse simply said "The radiologist has all she needs so we dont need to inject the contrast (THANK YOU JESUS! That was a moment I was dreading!) and she will get to work on the report right away so you should hear from your Dr by the end of the day.

I tell you friends the day only got worse and worse and by 5:30 I had no news of any kinds and was beside myself. Even though I kept hearing His words all day long, His beautiful promise, I still acted like an impatient cranky child. I called the imaging clinic the naturopath (who was gone) and finally her primary care physician ( who was also gone). I did however speak with an after hours receptionist and tearfully explained my situation and desperation for some kind of results. He was very kind and contacted the on call Dr to look up her MRI results and get back to me. ANd he did.....he told me there was no fax from the imaging center and therefore no results to report. "You will have to wait until tomorrow." His words felt like lead in my heart.

20 minutes later the phone rang again and it was that very same Dr. He had gone out of his way to get a hold of someone at the imaging center and got the quick gist results over the phone and requested they re-fax the full report. He told us Mikayla has a good sized Cyst in her frontal left lobe and it was putting pressure on her brain. He then gently gave me the contact information for the leading pediatric neurosurgeon up at OHSU and said he would put the referral in immediately.

So there it was.....the information I needed so badly and it didn't give me back my control. But I know that it was truly God's grace that I got it at all. :)

So now we proceed with His plan and in His way because I really do have no control. And boy am I glad I dont, because honestly I would screw it all up anyways with my emotion led impulsiveness. So tomorrow we cal OHSU and for tonight I treasure the words my Saviour gave to me "My peace I give to you.....let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."

Thank you Jesus.

Kealani knows everything

I made this Audio Video of Kealani sharing her wealth of knowledge with us in the car last night.....just wait for the end about the pilgrims...too funny.
When She was done with this lil bit she says "Lights are made of electricity, houses are made of wood, rocks are made of metal....and metal is made of metal.....AND...I know EVERYTHING!".......rrrriiiiiigghhhhtttt Kealani

Begin the morning with awe

"The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims His handiwork." -Psalm 19:1

Freedom

"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed."

-John 8:36

Une aventure grande de Crepe (A grand Crepe Adventure)

In honor of my brother Nick who is currently and exchange student in Nantes, France (and the fact I happened to have an easy recipe in my magazine) we decided to make Crepes for the very first time today! Caitlin, my little Kitchen helper, eagerly grabbed a chair yelling "I make a you too momma!" She pulled up alongside me and away we went mixing and creating something beautiful.....THE CREPE!

For those of you who don't know a Crepe is like a flat pancake originating first from France. The best part is they can be filled and topped with just about anything! For the girls I toped their crepes with maple syrup and powdered sugar. For mom I raosted red & green peppers, mushrooms, and red onion and added feta. Both were equally delicious and I highly recommend everyone try crepes at least once in their life. For us it will become a new weekend tradition! (Just for fun I added the history of this yummy treat below the pictures!)

Bon Appetite!

The Recipe.....

My helper :)

les oeufs

le crepe

il est de finition

The aftermath......

Crepe with Roasted Vegetables & Feta

HISTORY OF CREPES

Almost every country has its own version of the crepe, but it was in France's Brittany region where the tools and techniques were created and perfected, elevating the crepe to an art form.

In the early days of the crepe, white flour was an expensive product, reserved only for royalty that why savory crepes were traditionaly made with buckweat , a esay to grow plant..

As farmers became wealthier, they began to enjoy sweet white flour crepes as an after-dinner treat or with coffee for breakfast.

In Paris and the South of France, crepes were essentially a dessert, served in fine restaurants, thanks to Henri Charpentier who in 1895 as a young man from the South of France, went to Monaco to work for the Café de Paris with his uncle, the famous chef Escoffier.

One evening , the Prince of Wales requested a crepe for dessert. Henri raced to the kitchen and prepared a crepe with an orange sauce flambé. He named the Suzette in honor of the beautiful young lady who accompanied the Prince. The rest is history...the Crepe Suzette became the most celebrated French dessert. Chef Henry Charpentier retired in Redondo Beach where all the rich and famous wited sometine months do get a table at his small restaurant on Pacific Coast Highway.

The future of the crepe is still wide open, constantly being re-imagined in kitchens around the world, and especially in Santa Monica. For 25 years, Acadie Hand Crafted French Crepes has taken their expertise and experience
to infuse the history of the crepe into its future.

Isaiah 33:17

"Your eyes will behold the king in his beauty;
they will see a land that stretches afar."

Christmas Eve at Mamo's house

The girls and I spent Christmas Eve with my parents at my Grandparent house. We had a lovely time and lots of treats! Mitchell was downtown serving at the Christmas Eve service with our church so sadly he missed out!

Mamo, Robbie, Bob, Lydia, Pat, Sarah

Mamo's last minute tree :)

'

Caitlin riding the tiger

The cats in the bag!

Awwwww

My mommy and her daddy

Me and my dear old Papa

My dear old Papa and my girls

"Do you see what I see.......a microwave....?"

For Mauna & Pop-With Love from Kealani, Mikayla, & Caitlin

A GREAT BIG "THANK YOU!"

Look what God made!

A thin sheet of perfectly designed ice.....breathtaking

A new year.....a new light

Something amazing happens when you take a photo.....all of a sudden you have broken the barriers of time and frozen a single moment to cherish forever.

There is so much exhilaration and excitement when the shutter opens and closes again in a flash. God creates His perfect and magnificent masterpieces and I stop time to capture it. No, I am not a professional, I do not make a living doing it, nor am I really honestly even that great at it.....however, it is my PASSION. I take my camera with me EVERYWHERE because I know that wherever I go I will see beauty created for me to enjoy. I spent about 30 minutes yesterday walking around the ponds at Red Hills freezing my buns off capturing God's work. The perfect lighting itself was like a drug compelling me to keep on despite the loss of feeling in my fingers and toes. As I moved along I could hear Him speak His mysteries to my heart. It was then that I realized this is the way my Father has made to commune with me. Yes He speaks in the morning through His word and daily through my children and weekly through my Pastor but THIS, THIS is what He made just for me. He is what compels me to savor these precious moments. It is my Father, Creator of all that whispers into my heart and leads me to these beautiful places. This is how He reveals Himself to me.

A couple days ago I was grumbling and feeling kind of sad because I felt I have no gift. I watch others around me grow in Jesus through the various gifts He bestowed upon them. I burned with jealousy with the abilities to create things or endure things, or enjoy things that others seem to have. Then I felt sad....but wait....before you think this is some kind of pathetic attempt for self praise here me out....

If you are or ever have been a mom with young children you may know where I am coming from. Before my life as an adult began my life as a mom took off. I began walking with the Lord while HE created life inside of me. So after 6 1/2 years of devoting my entire life to my children (after God of course) I found myself not really knowing anything about myself this year. The turning point really came at a discussion among middle school leaders. I accidentally revealed a truth from my heart that I didn't even know was there!

I dont know who I am, what I enjoy, or what I am even good at....

It hit me like a ton of bricks and weighed heavy on my heart for months. 7 years of walking with God and I felt like I was just beginning.... then the enemy snuck in like he does, seeking to destroy and kill. The jealousy and self pity began small and grew and grew until I found myself in a viscous spiral of self loathing.

BUT, God in His perfect way drew me away from the business of life to a quiet place and whispered to me.....He removed the evil barrier of jealousy.....He peeled away the self pity and showed me the passion that He created in me. It was then I realized the only reason I have the ability to do ANYTHING at all is for His glory. I knew that before mind you but I never really KNEW it. My gift is recognizing His beauty in the world and giving Him glory for it. It may seem like nothing, or it may seem so simple to many, but to me it is a great gift and it is MY gift, for me to use to glorify the God of the universe. I had been tricked! I was duped into thinking I needed a gift that brought glory of some kind to me, that made people think "wow, isn't that something." But that would be a curse, drawing away the attention from Him who deserves it most and brought it to me who is the least of all. I don't want to take pictures to say "Look what I did." But I want to capture every moment to shout to the world

"LOOK WHAT GOD DID!"

And that is exactly what I intend to spend this year and all the years to come doing! I want to devote my passion to Him who gave it to me, to Him who I owe my very existence to. Lord willing I want to grow in this gift too. My goal is to learn and grow and become more knowledgeable in the art of photography and if the Lord wills obtain a digital SLR camera and take as many adventures as I possibly can this year to enjoy His creation with my family. I can do this with or without a better camera, whatever He wills, but this is the desire He has placed in my heart. I cannot describe the excitement I feel about this revelation, the excitement of seeing life in a new light.

So I begin this blog this year with a few simple photos from a humble photographer and I say to you....

Look what God did!