A new year.....a new light

Something amazing happens when you take a photo.....all of a sudden you have broken the barriers of time and frozen a single moment to cherish forever.

There is so much exhilaration and excitement when the shutter opens and closes again in a flash. God creates His perfect and magnificent masterpieces and I stop time to capture it. No, I am not a professional, I do not make a living doing it, nor am I really honestly even that great at it.....however, it is my PASSION. I take my camera with me EVERYWHERE because I know that wherever I go I will see beauty created for me to enjoy. I spent about 30 minutes yesterday walking around the ponds at Red Hills freezing my buns off capturing God's work. The perfect lighting itself was like a drug compelling me to keep on despite the loss of feeling in my fingers and toes. As I moved along I could hear Him speak His mysteries to my heart. It was then that I realized this is the way my Father has made to commune with me. Yes He speaks in the morning through His word and daily through my children and weekly through my Pastor but THIS, THIS is what He made just for me. He is what compels me to savor these precious moments. It is my Father, Creator of all that whispers into my heart and leads me to these beautiful places. This is how He reveals Himself to me.

A couple days ago I was grumbling and feeling kind of sad because I felt I have no gift. I watch others around me grow in Jesus through the various gifts He bestowed upon them. I burned with jealousy with the abilities to create things or endure things, or enjoy things that others seem to have. Then I felt sad....but wait....before you think this is some kind of pathetic attempt for self praise here me out....

If you are or ever have been a mom with young children you may know where I am coming from. Before my life as an adult began my life as a mom took off. I began walking with the Lord while HE created life inside of me. So after 6 1/2 years of devoting my entire life to my children (after God of course) I found myself not really knowing anything about myself this year. The turning point really came at a discussion among middle school leaders. I accidentally revealed a truth from my heart that I didn't even know was there!

I dont know who I am, what I enjoy, or what I am even good at....

It hit me like a ton of bricks and weighed heavy on my heart for months. 7 years of walking with God and I felt like I was just beginning.... then the enemy snuck in like he does, seeking to destroy and kill. The jealousy and self pity began small and grew and grew until I found myself in a viscous spiral of self loathing.

BUT, God in His perfect way drew me away from the business of life to a quiet place and whispered to me.....He removed the evil barrier of jealousy.....He peeled away the self pity and showed me the passion that He created in me. It was then I realized the only reason I have the ability to do ANYTHING at all is for His glory. I knew that before mind you but I never really KNEW it. My gift is recognizing His beauty in the world and giving Him glory for it. It may seem like nothing, or it may seem so simple to many, but to me it is a great gift and it is MY gift, for me to use to glorify the God of the universe. I had been tricked! I was duped into thinking I needed a gift that brought glory of some kind to me, that made people think "wow, isn't that something." But that would be a curse, drawing away the attention from Him who deserves it most and brought it to me who is the least of all. I don't want to take pictures to say "Look what I did." But I want to capture every moment to shout to the world

"LOOK WHAT GOD DID!"

And that is exactly what I intend to spend this year and all the years to come doing! I want to devote my passion to Him who gave it to me, to Him who I owe my very existence to. Lord willing I want to grow in this gift too. My goal is to learn and grow and become more knowledgeable in the art of photography and if the Lord wills obtain a digital SLR camera and take as many adventures as I possibly can this year to enjoy His creation with my family. I can do this with or without a better camera, whatever He wills, but this is the desire He has placed in my heart. I cannot describe the excitement I feel about this revelation, the excitement of seeing life in a new light.

So I begin this blog this year with a few simple photos from a humble photographer and I say to you....

Look what God did!